Feeling life rush past you is frightful. I have always been easy going and don’t get worked up over much. But lately, I have felt a slight panic setting in. After a 10 day social media fast, I had to do some deep thinking and make tough decisions about the future of this blog.
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A few weeks ago I took 10 days off from posting to instagram. This is a big deal for me; it’s the main social media outlet that I use for my site and I typically post at least once per day. It started with a purposeful 3 full days internet free. No e-mails, no online shopping, no reading articles, NOTHING.
I stuck to it and thought by Monday morning I would be ready to go with instagram and posting again. But Monday rolled around and I felt panicky. I felt blah. I didn’t have anything to say, and I didn’t want to. So I didn’t post. I checked it maybe once per day that week and commented here and there, but it was not my focus.
The fact that I just said it wasn’t my focus, should throw up some warning signs. IT SHOULDN’T BE. Social media is such a volatile beast. There can be so much good from it. I have met amazing people and shared information in ways I wouldn’t be able to otherwise. It’s connected me to companies and opportunities that have helped me grow.
It’s also a deep hole that can leave you wondering where your time went, feeling a little crazy about missing out on things, and some feel a lot of jealousy and comparison while scrolling. I have never been one to feel jealous of people online. But lately I have felt a lot of frustration with the game of it all. There are strategies, there are followers purchased, there are people who follow/unfollow people (hundreds per day) just to gain more followers. It’s absurd. And it’s constantly changing. It’s not as fun for me anymore.
Taking that time off felt right and I had a lot of time to think and read during those days.
One poignant moment was during that first Friday off of the internet. I was laying on the couch, reading a book and my 8 year old daughter came up and said, “Mom, are you reading a BOOK?”
Her tone made me cringe, because it implied that this was something she never sees me do. It was heartbreaking. I am a voracious reader. I love books and devour them. But lately I have been reading on my phone or my kindle. Kids don’t discern between the two. At least, mine don’t. They only see me on my phone. It hurt for her to say that. But it spurred a lot of my thoughts over the next week.
There are projects and ideas I have that are screaming to get out of me. I want to really help people change, not just post daily pics of what I’m eating. I know that helps a lot of you and I am beyond grateful for the love and support you have shown through instagram, but I can’t spend as much time on that if I want to accomplish other goals.
It’s time to prioritize. I don’t want to do everything and not do any of it very well, I want to do a few things and make them great. I have loved writing weekly e-mails to my subscribers and will continue doing that. There is something more intimate about opening up about my week or sharing some quick thoughts without having to formulate and edit a big blog post.
I made the decision to start doing more video. The feedback I have received about my instastories reaffirms this decision. It’s what I want to be better at, and that will only come by doing. I have already published some youtube videos but am such a newbie that they are so ridiculous and crazy . . . I hesitate even mentioning them! At first I thought I only had to use my DSLR and they would be perfect and beautiful. But you know what? I’m not a videographer. And I couldn’t get it to work out. If I waited around until they were perfect, I would never start. And so I have started.
I am going to try out Facebook live because most people are probably already on FB so it’s easy to join in. I love the idea of interacting DURING the live feed and being able to answer questions.
I want to have some courses and e-books available for those who want to learn more about natural yeast and other topics I am interested in. That being said, I also decided (with a lot of prodding from my husband) to transition out of some of the things I have been posting. I need to focus on what I’m good at and not try to be the one place where you learn everything (clean eating, juicing, natural yeast, healing your body with food, simplicity, minimalism, motherhood, etc).
Focusing on pairing these things down will help me to do what I truly want to do in this space. I am thankful for those who have been following along (some of you from the very beginning). It’s been quite the learning experience for me.
I know these changes will make it more enjoyable for me and hopefully more educational for you!
If nothing else, I want to say THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for supporting me and learning with me.
*** for those interested, I will post a full review of the book, Present Over Perfect soon. I got a hard copy and underlined most of it. HIGHLY recommend!